My Least Favorite Things

(To the tune of “My Favorite Things”)

Making left turns in a bustling city,
Getting a hole in the heal of my sock,
Not shutting the window on a rainy day
These are a few of my least favorite things.

Toothpaste in the sink and slush-covered roads,
Stubbed toes and paper cuts and broken pencils
Accidentally shrinking clothes in the wash,
These are a few of my least favorite things.

Waking up from a nap with a drool stain,
Hiccups and sneezing and shopping for groceries,
Having to poop when I’m already late,
These are a few of my least favorite things.

When the rent’s due,
When the cat vomits,
When I’m feeling pissed
I simply remember my least favorite things
and then I still feel real bad.

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