funny – Slanted Spines

The Cheetah Who Hated the Zoo

July 10, 2020April 16, 2021Posted in Aged AnecdotesTagged animals, cheetah, creative writing, funny, humor, old story, short story, Story, writing, zoo, zoos1 Comment

The Cheetah Who Hated the Zoo

Written in 2002

Once upon a time on a nice summer day there was a Cheetah who wished he could go to California. He hated being stuck in the zoo. People always stared at him. One day he asked his friend if she could help him get out of there. “Okay,” said Bear, as she was getting out of her cage. Then she thought if they could climb over the gate? But they already tried it when they tried to get Polar Bear in. Then they asked Lion if he would and could help. “Okay,” said Lion. “Maybe you could ask the zoo keeper.” “No way,” said Cheetah. “The zoo keeper usually screams when she hears us talk,” said Bear. “Yeah, but maybe she will understand,” said Lion. “Maybe Lion’s right,” said Bear. “Well, I guess so,” said Cheetah. Then he slowly walked to the zoo keeper. “Zoo keeper, I… I… I… want… to… um.” “You want to what,” said the zoo keeper slowly. “I want to go out of the zoo,” said Cheetah. “Well, why didn’t you say so,” said the zoo keeper. “I don’t know,” said Cheetah. And the zoo keeper let Cheetah out.

The End

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Web Comics: Spider Days

April 10, 2020April 16, 2021Posted in ComicsTagged Art, artist, black and white, comic, digital art, digital drawing, drawing, funny, humor, satire, spiderLeave a comment

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The Nightmare Before School

February 21, 2020Posted in BlogTagged Blog, bus, dream blog, dream interpretation, dreams, flashback, funny, high school, memories, school, school bus, school dreams, throwback3 Comments

At what age do normal, not-traumatized adults stop having nightmares about missing the school bus? Because I’m twenty-four years old and seven years out from riding that yellow child-toting vehicle and it’s still one of my most recurring dream experiences.

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Olive and the Slippary Chair

January 10, 2020April 16, 2021Posted in Aged AnecdotesTagged cat, cats, childrens story, creative writing, fable, fiction, funny, humor, kids story, old story, short story, Story, throwback, writingLeave a comment

Olive and the Slippary Chair

Written in March 2004

Once upon a time there was a kitten. The kitten was a girl and her name was Olive. Olive was sweet and had soft, smooth fur. She was all black and had a white spot on her back. She was smart and she wasn’t very heavy. Her owner had an office in their house. Olive liked going in the office. The only problem was, she got nervous when people came in. Olive thought to herself, “I must start being brave.” One day, a man walked into the office. He had a cat with him. Olive meowed so loud you could hear her throughout the house. Olive’s owner picked her up and put her down next to his chair. Her owner started petting the cat. Olive jumped on the chair. She slipped on the chair. She thought it was like a slide. That’s it! If she was having fun she forgot about being scared. Olive lived happily ever after.

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On the Fly Fry

December 6, 2019April 16, 2021Posted in ComicsTagged black and white, comic, cook, cooking, funny, humor, job, Restaurant, server, server probsLeave a comment

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A Girl who Stood by the Brook

November 15, 2019Posted in Aged AnecdotesTagged childrens story, creative writing, fiction, funny, humor, old story, satire, short story, Story, throwback, writingLeave a comment

A Girl Who Stood by the Brook

Written in January 2004

One day a girl stood by a brook. She was reading a book about a foot. She shook and the book landed in the middle of the brook. She put up her hood and got her fishing pole. She made sure the hook was sharp. She got it! Her mother came by to tell her I wanted to cook some chocolate for my little book saver.

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Miss Mess: A Story

November 8, 2019Posted in StoriesTagged creative writing, fiction, funny, humor, messes, messy, parable, roommate, roommates, short story, Story, writing3 Comments

When Maggie and Bianca received a phone call from Elizabeth responding to their Facebook ad for a third roommate, the two young women had no idea they were agreeing to live with a human trash generator. The ad had been listed for a couple weeks and after receiving a few messages from outright weirdos, Elizabeth seemed like a normal college student by comparison, one who they thought they could even potentially be friends with. When they asked her to list a few facts about herself, Elizabeth responded, “I’m a Fashion Design student who draws inspiration from Vera Wang, I grew up in Maine, and I’m an only child.”

Sadly, Maggie and Bianca were not privy to the implications of Elizabeth’s third personal fact. Sophomore college students themselves, the two of them were just moving into their first apartment after having lived in the dorms the prior year, and so their experience with roommates was limited. In their eyes, the worst possible scenario for prospective a roommate was someone who listened to loud, angsty music into the wee hours of the night (or morning, by then) and who didn’t shower but once a week. They had no idea that the worst candidate for a roommate could be a pretty blond girl with French-tipped nails and a love of classical symphony.

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Slanted Inktober 2

November 1, 2019Posted in ArtTagged Art, artist, black and white, Blog, blogger, drawing, drawings, funny, humor, inktober, inktober 2019, inktober2019, rocket book, skeleton1 Comment

A few weeks ago, I made a post featuring my Inktober drawings up to Day 11, and gave a brief explanation that Inktober is a month-long drawing challenge where artists draw each day and post it to share with others! (It’s a very informal event, and lots of people interpret it in different ways.) I’ve been posting all of my Inktober drawings to my Slanted Spines social media on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, but I know some of my readers exclusively visit me online or on WordPress, so I didn’t want you to miss out! (Although you should highly consider following Slanted Spines on social media. You won’t regret it!)

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The House Cat and the House

May 17, 2019May 17, 2019Posted in StoriesTagged animals, bird, birds, cat, childrens story, fable, funny, goldfish, house cat, iguana, indoor pets, parable, personification, short story, Story1 Comment

Once upon a time and whence upon a land, a majestic house cat prowled the expansive planes of 143 Lanted Drive. This house cat stalked the interior of her castle, patrolling for intruders which were few and far between, happily eating and napping at heart’s will, and awing onlookers with her immense fluffy beauty and soft, golden-patched calico fur. She was a queen in her land, and she loved her luxurious life. Continue reading “The House Cat and the House” →

Dude, Where’s my Food?

March 29, 2019April 1, 2019Posted in ComicsTagged black and white, comic, cook, drawing, funny, humor, Restaurant, server, server probs, waiting, waiting tables, waitressLeave a comment

For more comics like this, visit the Slanted Spines comics page here.