The Post-Grad Problem

“So, what are you doing after graduation?”

I erupt in hives every time I hear this question. I almost don’t want to graduate so that I never have to face the realities that lurk on the other side of it—so that I don’t have to deal with the “What next?” and the “What now?”

I’ve taken to laughing in response to this question. “Ha-ha! Good one!” I feel like saying. “As if I have a plan! You’re a real jokester, eh?” Nobody’s ever satisfied by this, though. They don’t laugh. They want a hard copy of my 5-year plan, bullet point by bullet point, cross-referenced and leather-bound, with an index, a table of contents, and an acknowledgements page. I don’t have that, though.

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