The Missing Chair

“Things don’t just disappear; they can always be found if you know where to look,” Leslietta Bernadard had said, rather fatefully, to her boss on Monday, as he was searching the office for his car keys at the end of the workday. Perhaps the universe overheard her and fancied itself a prankster, or perhaps her coworker overheard and fancied himself a cynic, because either way, Leslietta Bernadard walked into Donald Troy Insurance on Tuesday and found herself without a chair.

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Olive and the Slippary Chair

Olive and the Slippary Chair

Written in March 2004

Once upon a time there was a kitten. The kitten was a girl and her name was Olive. Olive was sweet and had soft, smooth fur. She was all black and had a white spot on her back. She was smart and she wasn’t very heavy. Her owner had an office in their house. Olive liked going in the office. The only problem was, she got nervous when people came in. Olive thought to herself, “I must start being brave.” One day, a man walked into the office. He had a cat with him. Olive meowed so loud you could hear her throughout the house. Olive’s owner picked her up and put her down next to his chair. Her owner started petting the cat. Olive jumped on the chair. She slipped on the chair. She thought it was like a slide. That’s it! If she was having fun she forgot about being scared. Olive lived happily ever after.

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N. T. Ed the Snowkid

As cheery, holiday bells ring in the background, I welcome you into our story for today, dear reader! Happy winter solstice and the merriest of holidays to you, and I hope this sweet little tale will provide you with delight.

It was one holiday season not too long ago, when snow was gently tumbling in large, fluffy flakes upon the mountains that loomed above Spinesville, a winter flutter bestowed upon the densely forested pine trees which grew like fur from the rolling mountains—and upon one of those mountains, in his cabin, whose chimney steadily smoked, the smoke mingling with the snowfall, Ned Theodore Ed was rummaging around in his basement as the fireplace upstairs smoldered. The early evening sky was saturating into a deeper and deeper shade of blue, and N.T.’s dinner baked in the oven while he was moving armloads of cardboard boxes around.

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A Girl who Stood by the Brook

A Girl Who Stood by the Brook

Written in January 2004

One day a girl stood by a brook. She was reading a book about a foot. She shook and the book landed in the middle of the brook. She put up her hood and got her fishing pole. She made sure the hook was sharp. She got it! Her mother came by to tell her I wanted to cook some chocolate for my little book saver.

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Miss Mess: A Story

When Maggie and Bianca received a phone call from Elizabeth responding to their Facebook ad for a third roommate, the two young women had no idea they were agreeing to live with a human trash generator. The ad had been listed for a couple weeks and after receiving a few messages from outright weirdos, Elizabeth seemed like a normal college student by comparison, one who they thought they could even potentially be friends with. When they asked her to list a few facts about herself, Elizabeth responded, “I’m a Fashion Design student who draws inspiration from Vera Wang, I grew up in Maine, and I’m an only child.”

Sadly, Maggie and Bianca were not privy to the implications of Elizabeth’s third personal fact. Sophomore college students themselves, the two of them were just moving into their first apartment after having lived in the dorms the prior year, and so their experience with roommates was limited. In their eyes, the worst possible scenario for prospective a roommate was someone who listened to loud, angsty music into the wee hours of the night (or morning, by then) and who didn’t shower but once a week. They had no idea that the worst candidate for a roommate could be a pretty blond girl with French-tipped nails and a love of classical symphony.

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N.T. Ed and the Apple Cider Whodunnit?

It was an Autumnal Affair, that autumn night.

It was a night that existed after a week’s preparation, a night that was the result of several shopping excursions, hours of crafting and decorating, and outstanding social suavity, a night that culminated from a desire to give the seasonally affected a reason to celebrate this otherwise possibly depressing impending winter. Ned Theodore Ed and Margaret Hadfield worked diligently on this party, fashioning every detail with eager attentiveness. Continue reading “N.T. Ed and the Apple Cider Whodunnit?”

Timothy, Logan, and the Big Move

Timothy, Logan, and the Big Move

Written in May 2004

Once upon a time there was a boy named Timothy Adams. His mom was a Dr. and he lived on Cherry St. His parents owned over 100 yd. His best friend Logan lived on Crazy Ave. They both lived in the U.S.A. and they were almost neighbors. One day Logan’s parents told Timothy’s parents that they were moving out of state. Mr. and Mrs. Adams told Timothy that day. Timothy burst into tears. Then Timothy had an idea. Continue reading “Timothy, Logan, and the Big Move”

I Fuel the Great Machine: Part XI

(Read parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten!)

The Slanted crew of Senga, Ramona, Gabe, and Agnes hastily made their way to Ramona’s space ship as discreetly as possible. Although everyone at the Slanted satellite base seemed to be caught up in the agenda of their own missions on this highly anticipated Day of Action, Agnes felt tense and self-conscious about the possibility of suddenly being confronted by an authority, as they passed by other soldiers, who were heading with a jog in an opposite direction, or staring at a tablet’s screen as they walked by, or speaking into a watch as they bustled along the hallways. Continue reading “I Fuel the Great Machine: Part XI”

I Fuel the Great Machine: Part X

(Read parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine!)

Running down the hallway of the cubicle complex as the building lights flicker on and off, running as fast as possible but still moving in slow motion, alarms sounding… It’s getting closer, the shadowy figure that’s following… Pushing the body to move faster, but still it’s like treading through thick water… Breaking out into the daylight and reaching the subway station, but the subway doors slam shut just as it’s finally in eye sight, and the train slides along the tracks quickly disappearing, but work will start soon, can’t be late for work, heart thumping… Jogging to work, have to get to work, passing the same street signs over and over again; lost? Which way is it? At the dishwashing station, and suddenly Enforcers are surrounding, yelling, raising weapons, no! Bracing for the blow, Enforcer’s arm raised, and it comes down… In space now, orbiting the bright blue and green planet in a capsule, such brilliant colors, captivated… The world slowly turning orange, red-hot, colors burning, the planet starts dripping—-no, no! It’s melting away, dripping into space… Continue reading “I Fuel the Great Machine: Part X”